The Chaos
The English language can be incredibly complicated. I gather that it’s considered to be one of the most difficult to learn, or at least master, for those needing to learn it as an adult. It isn’t hard to start seeing the reasons for that — especially if you happen to read this poem I found.
It’s a poem that demonstrates, wonderfully, the irregularity of English spelling and pronunciation — it includes some 800 examples! The Chaos was written by Gerard Nolst Trenité (1870-1946), also known under the pseudonym Charivarius.
I’m English, and would consider myself to have a reasonably good grasp of the language. But I cannot read this through without having to pause several times to decide on pronunciation. Try reading it aloud yourself.
Gerard Nolst Trenité
Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye your dress you’ll tear,
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.