Give us insight to discern your will for us

Over the last few weeks, my health, which is never good, has been particularly unstable. And, in fact, the last couple of weeks it has been really poor. I’ve been getting a lot of pain, which has frequently been keeping me awake too. Normally, when it gets like this, I do manage odd days when I don’t feel quite so bad. Not this time though; it has been pretty relentless. It will pass, eventually; it always does.

Whenever it gets bad like this, I do start to question, in my mind, what I’m doing, and what God wants me to do. I guess, by nature, I’m always going to be someone who needs reassuring about things. And right now, I really need reassuring about things, and about my ministry in particular.

There have been times of doubt, but I think, deep down, even in those times of doubt I’ve always believed that I’m doing what God wants me to do, at least, with regards to my Church-based ministry. But I don’t know any more, and it feels like more than just doubts. I feel completely lost.

In recent weeks I’ve had to pull out of so much; not just things that I felt I should be doing, but things I really wanted to do too. Normally, when I’m bad, I am at least able to hang on to the fact that there’s still things I can do to help out, even if it’s only behind-the-scenes type stuff. But, today I realized how much I’m struggling even with that. I know a lot of the reason for that is how tired, how utterly exhausted, I feel.

I also know that, if it wasn’t for the ability to schedule posts to publish in the future with WordPress, even this blog would have floundered and, possibly, died by now.

So no answers from me on the Third Sunday of Lent, just a fervent prayer: “Eternal God, give us insight to discern your will for us” — Eternal God, give me insight to discern your will for me.

Eternal God,
give us insight
to discern your will for us,
to give up what harms us,
and to seek the perfection we are promised
in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Additional Collect for The Third Sunday of Lent
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