When faced with difficult challenges, do you find yourself saying, “I can’t”. I have begun to say, “I can’t”, more recently, at least to myself, than I would have done in the past. Here’s a post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle that might get you, and me, thinking a little differently — hope so anyway.

“I Can’t”

Today, I’d like to propose that using the phrase, “I can’t” is actually contrary to what it means to be human.

Over the millennia of recorded human history, the story (so far) is one of progress or, at least, improvement of the human experience. Each “today” is better than yesterday, and each tomorrow is reflected in today’s hopes and dreams. We are constantly working toward something better. “I can’t” or “We can’t” simply gets in the way.

If we had allowed “I can’t” to get in the way, there would have been no sea trade by the Phoenicians; no Silk Road from Asia Minor to China; no “New World” to discover; no automobile, nor telephone. There would have been no written language, no books, nor any music. You can completely forget space exploration, and the medical and scientific benefits we have received from that. You see, it is simply human nature to say, “I can.”

The history of the human species is a grand illustration of the need to grow, to achieve, to fulfill potential – to be better than before. Indeed, the need to constantly expand our knowledge and experience is uniquely human, as evidenced by the fact that no group of animals, fish or fowl have planned and carried out a mission to the moon or beyond – at least, not one we know of.

So, the next time you react to a challenge by saying, “I can’t,” stop yourself. Think again, embrace all that makes you human, and ask yourself, “What if I could?” Because, you see, you can. Remember: Yesterday’s dreams are today’s realities. Today’s dreams are tomorrow’s opportunities.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

When I read this email from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, it really made me stop and think. As I said in my first paragraph, I realize that I have been saying, “I can’t”, much more recently. I know a lot of that is because of my health issues, but I think I’ve been letting them prevent me from doing more than they should. There will always, necessarily, be limits; but I need to start pushing against those limits again. By the nature of my health problems, the limits will always be variable, and by pushing against them more I might be able to take advantage more of when the limits are less. My body will soon tell me when I’ve pushed too hard; I need to stop anticipating that so much.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the problems of the world? As Christians we would love to be able to solve all of the world’s ills. But there’s only so much any individual can do; and it’s all too easy to end up doing nothing when we can’t do all that we would want to do. In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, he encourages us to look for solutions to the challenges around us, no matter how small.

Properly Placed Pebbles

I’m here today to remind all of us that one person cannot solve the challenges of the world. That is the work for each one of us.

If you want to, you can find problems in every part of the globe. Set your mind to find them, and it won’t take you long to fill a very large piece of paper, perhaps an entire notebook. Personally, I prefer to look for opportunities to change the way things “are” by asking the question, “What would it look like if it was fixed?” Then I ask myself, “What can I do to help?”

When I was very young, I looked for ways to make “the big-time.” How could I make the big splash and solve a problem, and I would wait to find the “big deal.” It was more ego than anything else. As I matured – especially after I learned the information I impart to you – I learned that you can’t wait around for the big-splash opportunity. If you do, you will accomplish nothing.

Each of us needs to look for solutions to the challenges around us, no matter how small. If you walk past the small things, you will never be in a position to make a bigger difference. We also deny the opportunity for the “ripple effect” to go to work. You know the ripple effect: drop a pebble in a pond and watch the ripples moving out from where you dropped the pebble. Eventually these ripples touch every part of the pond. You and I, each of us, has the potential to be that pebble, hopefully for the good of all.

So today, let’s start taking accountability for our little corners of the world. Be the pebble for positive change in what you see. With enough pebbles, we’ll see a wave of positive change sweep around the globe.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

It reminds me of the Starfish Story, which I’ve posted about on the blog before. If enough of us start to throw starfish back into the ocean we can make a difference: if enough of us start to do even small things towards peace we can make a difference. Don’t be overwhelmed by the hugeness of the task, just concentrate upon the bit that you can affect. It’s all too easy to be overwhelmed, and do nothing; but every little bit can make a difference — especially when added to lots of other little bits.

I needed to read this from Lou Tice, to remind me of something I’ve always felt strongly about. In the last two or three months while I’ve been ill again, I had begun to become very insular, thinking far too much about what is going on with me, and not so much about others. Hopefully, this reminder, will help me to be more ‘myself’ again.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Do you find yourself getting frustrated? In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle he talks about the feelings of frustration we all find ourselves experiencing from time to time. And suggests a book to look at that might help us to use those feelings more productively.

Frustration

Today, let’s talk about frustration — a feeling all of us experience from time to time — and how to overcome it.

One of the roadblocks on the path to success is frustration. Everyone feels it from time to time. It’s kind of like anxiety with a little anger thrown in, isn’t it? You feel like a tiger in a cage, filled with tension and negative energy but accomplishing nothing. And that tension and negative energy represent both the danger and the opportunity in frustration.

The danger is the tension and the negativity, because negativity blocks all the positive feelings you need in order to keep going and solve the problems at hand — and you just can’t be very creative in a tension-filled environment. The opportunity is the energy, because you can use it to overcome whatever obstacle you’re facing, as soon as you get the negative thinking under control. “Ah-ha,” you may be saying, “there’s the catch. If I could do that, I wouldn’t be frustrated.” Well, you can do it.

We teach people how to do it all the time in The Pacific Institute seminars. Cognitive psychologists teach people to do it, too. It’s simply a question of knowing how. If you’d like to learn how, pick up a copy of Dr. Martin Seligman’s book, “Learned Optimism.” It will give you a simple technique you can use to minimize negative thoughts and substitute positive ones. It’s quite simple to master and it will make a big difference in your frustration level and the time you spend spinning your wheels.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I do get very frustrated — with myself rather than other people. In truth, probably far more than I should. It’s mostly because of my health, when it stops me from doing the things I would like to do, and that I feel I should do. I think, on the whole, I’m very patient and forgiving of others, but not with myself. I wonder if I might learn to minimize the negative thoughts I have with myself, substitute some positivity, and learn some optimism — maybe I’ll get this book and find out.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Are you afraid of failure? In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle he talks about how a fear of failing can really hold us back in life; and suggests that there are other ways of looking at things, which are more helpful.

It’s Only Failure If You Think It Is

Today, I’m going to try to convince you that regardless of circumstances, there is no such thing as failure. You see, most people have been programmed to be afraid of failure. But I believe that failure, more than anything else, is an attitude.

All of us can remember times when we didn’t get the results we wanted. We flunked a test, or put together a business plan that didn’t work, or got involved in a romance that turned sour.

But successful people don’t think in terms of failure. They think in terms of results they can learn from. If they try something and it doesn’t work out, they figure they’ve had a learning experience, and they take new actions to get new results.

Think about it. What is the one asset, the one benefit you have today that you didn’t have in the past? Experience, right? And experience is what you make of it.

Maybe you are afraid of failure, but how do you feel about learning? Fear of failure can stop you before you start. It can stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to grow. If you redefine failure as learning, as important feedback, there is no longer anything to fear.

As a familiar example, Edison tried thousands of different materials before he found the right filament for the electric light bulb. When asked why he didn’t quit, he said, “Why should I? I now know 2,000 things that don’t work!” If you look at your experiences the way Edison did, you are much more likely to achieve success.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I think I have a lot to learn from this post. I am better than I used to be, and trying to fully engage with these posts from Lou Tice has been a great help in my improvement. I don’t fear failing nowadays as much as I used to. But, while I am more accepting of the fact that I won’t always get everything absolutely right, or do as much I set out to do, and don’t beat myself up as much when these things happen, I don’t think I really use those times as a learning experience. So that is, next on my list for personal development — learning from the times when things don’t go quite to plan.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Do you feel valued by the society you live in? In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle he talks about how being different from the the society we live in can seriously impact our own self-worth. It may be more of a problem for people than you realize.

Self Worth and Society

What happens to us when the society in which we grow up doesn’t value our personal attributes? You know, many, if not most, of our feelings of self-worth or self-esteem have been influenced by the messages we get from our society.

Some of those messages are overt and up front: we know without question that our society values affluence, power, efficacy, youthfulness and health. Now, imagine how it might feel to be poor, relatively powerless, or chronically ill or disabled in this society.

Some messages are subtler. We say we value diversity, children, old people – but our behavior often says something else. If movie stars and models are young, tall, thin, with expensive clothes, what message does it send to those of us who are different from that?

If the kids in school laugh at us because of our accent or shabby clothes or the work our parents do for a living, what do we learn about our value? It is terribly important that all our children feel proud of who they are – just the way they are.

Sometimes all it takes is one concerned teacher, parent or other adult who cares enough to take the time to set the record straight in the child’s mind. Every one of our kids needs to know that what is and is not valuable really depends on some pretty arbitrary things like where you happen to be born and when.

They need to know that they are loved, prized, and capable of rising above stereotypes to be uniquely valuable human beings. For in the end, we rise to each other’s expectations, or we fall to them.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

Way back, before I became ill, I worked in a small precision engineering workshop — there were only a dozen or so of us there, and three of them were the people who owned and managed the firm, but spent most of their time operating the various machines alongside the rest of us. I was a centre-lathe turner; the work was challenging to my limited skills, but really enjoyable. There was a good camaraderie between the people who worked there, including the owners, although they were very strict about time. Every once in a while we would all go out for a drink together, and there was rarely any friction between any of us.

But that all changed in an instant. My faith was never hidden as such, but it had never come up in conversation in the years that I’d worked there — it wasn’t planned that way, it just happened like that. Then, one weekend, I didn’t want to work extra overtime hours on the Saturday morning, because I was doing something connected with Church. Everything was fine about that Saturday morning while they assumed I was at a wedding, or something like that; but then, while we were chatting I was asked what I was doing. As I say, my faith was never hidden, and I had no reason not to tell them. Wow, was that ever an error of judgement!

My working life became a living nightmare. Victimisation wouldn’t be anywhere near a strong enough word to describe what I was put through — all instigated by the bosses. We were a young family, and there wasn’t much in the way of work around, so I just had to put up with it, and try to ride the storm out. I was just the same person as I’d always been, but in the months that followed, I lost all my self-confidence, my self-worth, and my self-esteem. The storm never ceased, it just blew harder and harder. In the end, the stress made me ill, very ill, and I had to take some time off work, which was unpaid. And that was the straw that broke the camels back, and gave them all the excuse they needed to get rid of me.

I don’t know if all of that triggered my ongoing health problems, but I don’t suppose it really helped. I do know that it took years for me to recover from the experience, if I truly have even now. I still get times when I’m crippled by lack of self-worth and self-esteem.

Okay, mine is a pretty extreme example, but it does show that, even things that you might consider to be perfectly normal and acceptable, can be used as something to attack a person’s self-worth if it makes them slightly different from the society they find themselves in.

Wow, it’s a long time since I talked about these things, and this has got a bit long — sorry, but it has been quite cathartic for me to write it all out. One important thing I need to add though. I have tried, within myself, to forgive them for what happened. But every time I think about them, I have to try to forgive all over again — so I suspect, deep down, I haven’t really done so. But I will keep trying. I don’t bear them any grudges. Those experiences, as with all life experiences, have helped form me into the person I am today. And, I think, they’ve helped me to be a better minister than I ever could have been without them.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things, even when, sometimes, that can be challenging: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

I was intrigued by the title of this week’s piece from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. In this one, Lou talks about the choices we make between acting out of fear or love, and comes up with some surprising answers.

Love versus Fear

If you had a choice between love and fear, which would you choose? If you think the answer is obvious, what I have to say may surprise you.

If you were offered a choice between feeling and acting out of fear or out of love, which one would you pick? No question about it, most people don’t even hesitate before they say, “Love!” But this is not a hypothetical question. It is a choice you and I are faced with every day of our lives. And all too often, whether consciously or not, we choose fear.

When you avoid success, harm your physical health, or hold back your attractiveness, you are choosing fear. When you fail to set goals, or give up your power to a boss, mate, friend or authority figure, fear is motivating you.

When you deny the truth, feel afraid to say ‘no,’ ignore your feelings or focus on negative feedback, you do it out of fear. In fact, all negative emotions can be traced to some form of fear. And the truth is that you can’t feel both love and fear at the same time. So when you act out of fear, you are choosing to shut out love.

Becoming aware of this process is the first step toward change. It takes work, persistence, and a willingness to risk, but it can be done, and I guarantee you, it’s worth it! Get help if necessary, but don’t wait even one more day to begin. Choose love, and choose it with your whole heart!

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

If Lou is right in this, and I’ve certainly no reason to think he isn’t, I can see that I frequently feel and act out of fear, at least in my personal life. And that surprises me a little. I can see that there are times in my life when I feel and act out of love too, but not as many as I would hope for. Consciously, I do choose love; subconsciously, I probably choose fear more than love. So, it seems, that I need to make an attempt to swing the balance of my life more towards love, and away from fear.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Are you looking for happiness? This week I’m posting another one of the daily emails I’ve subscribed to from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. In this one he talks about that wonderful gift, happiness, and where we might find it.

Looking for Happiness

What makes you happy? Where do you find joy? No matter who you are, the answer to these questions is always the same, and I’ll tell you what it is.

Do you know anyone who is always looking for happiness? What about people who are constantly in pursuit of joy through some activity, or people who complain that their relationships are dull, their job oppressive?

They act as if happiness and joy are to be found “out there” somewhere. They seldom come to terms with the idea that happiness is inside them. You see, we can’t look for joy as we do a lost article of clothing. We make our own happiness. We define it for ourselves and experience it in our own unique way. In fact, the happiest people in the world would probably still be happy if they were stripped of everything but life.

I see it all the time in my work. Many people whose bodies are terribly crippled or who have lived a life of deprivation and disadvantage are able to smile and joke their way through life, while those working with them who have every physical and economic advantage are often sour, complaining and depressed.

So open up the doors to your heart and let joy, laughter, and light heartedness come in. Many a relationship has been saved by a good belly laugh. A sense of humor is one of life’s greatest gifts.

Just remember, what makes you happy is not an event but a point of view. Once you have it, you’ll find joy and good fellowship wherever you look.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

Sometimes real happiness seems to be an impossible dream. Many people search for it, and long for it, but never find it. I know I’ve been through lots of times when that seems to be the case for me.

Looking back over the last few years, I can see that I’ve been happiest when I’ve been most accepting and content with myself; and least happy when I’ve kicked and screamed about myself, not inwardly accepting who I am — usually revolving around my health issues. I get far too cross with myself over my health, which I can do nothing about.

Currently, I’m pretty happy. I’m seeing an upturn in my health — always easier to accept, even the bad days, when things are better overall. I know Lou is right, happiness is to be found within myself. I’m finding it there now!

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Is there someone who has done you a wrong, in some way, and whom you just can’t forgive? Have you, yourself, done things that you can’t forgive? In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, he talks about the personal importance of forgiveness.

The Value of Forgiveness

Many people throughout the ages have spoken of the virtues of forgiveness. Today, I want to add my voice to theirs, and perhaps a special twist.

Against whom are you carrying a grudge? Is there someone who has done you a wrong, in some way, and whom you just can’t forgive? Have you, yourself, done things that you can’t forgive? Today I hope to impress upon you the incredible damage you can do to yourself, if you don’t let go of these hurts. You must learn to forgive and forget.

Confucius said that, “To be wronged is nothing unless you remember it.” He was absolutely right, and here’s why. Every time you remember something bad that happens to you, some wrong that was done to you, you feel those bad feelings all over again. You record the event in the neuron structure of your brain, and it plants itself in your subconscious.

Now your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between a vividly imagined or remembered event and the real thing. It is all “real” to your subconscious. When you subject yourself over and over again to painful, angry memories, eventually your system begins to break down. The poison of the not forgiven hurt and anger attacks you from the inside out.

12-step programs emphasize the importance of forgiveness, because they recognize that forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. Jesus forgave those who crucified him while he was still on the cross. When you forgive, you open yourself to wonderful new possibilities. Why not begin today? I know you can.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

As Christians we’re taught to forgive others freely. It is an essential part of our faith. But it isn’t always easy to genuinely forgive those who have wronged us; and, in my experience, probably harder still to forgive ourself when we have done wrong. In this post, Lou Tice looks at things from a different angle, and talks about the harm we can do to ourselves by withholding forgiveness.

I think this is an important aspect of forgiveness. We can do ourselves a great deal of harm by withholding forgiveness from others as well as from ourselves. Our Lord put it at the centre of our faith for a reason.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Do you feel that there’s nothing you can do, personally, to make a difference to the environmental problems the world faces? With all that’s happening off the coast of Louisiana just now it’s probably easier than ever to feel that way. In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, he encourages us to think differently.

Hope and the Environment

Do you listen to people who say we have polluted our environment past the point of hope? It is easy to do, with all that has happened in the past few weeks. However, I don’t, and I’ll tell you why.

There are some doom and gloom environmentalists and others out there, who, for their own misguided reasons, would rob the rest of us of hope. I believe that a hopeless attitude is just as dangerous as anything we could do to pollute the environment. Hopelessness is like a lethal nerve gas – it prevents us from seeing the kind of world we want for our children and grandchildren, and then doing what we need to do to create it.

Hopelessness will kill the dream of a healthy planet quicker than all the holes in the ozone layer and all the chemicals released into the atmosphere put together. To hope is not foolish. If you look for reasons to despair, you will find them. But if you choose, instead, to look for reasons to hope, you will find them also.

Why not collect hopeful signs, like some folks collect stamps, coins or baseball cards? Then, when you hear people saying that it doesn’t matter what we do, because it is too late to save the environment, tell them they are wrong. Prove it with examples from your collection.

Yes, there is work to be done and we will find the tools to use. Each of us can make a difference – you can make a difference!

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I really do agree with Lou Tice on this, and believe there is still hope for the environment. And I believe each of us can still make a difference. It might only be a very small difference, but multiplied by millions it can grow into something worthwhile. Look around your locality, keep looking for reasons to hope, you will find them.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

Do you have a philosophy of life? I imagine many of my readers on this blog will have a philosophy that they try to live by; probably many will be be couched in Christian terms. That’s certainly been the case for me. But, in this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, he talks about a much more closely defined philosophy of life — 25 words or less — than many of us will follow.

Philosophy of Life

Do you have a philosophy of life, for yourself? Could you describe your philosophy to someone else, in 25 words or less?

I spent time this past week with my good friend, Pete Carroll. He happens to be an NFL football coach, but that’s not why I mention this. We were talking with a group of business and community leaders, and Pete asked the group to raise their hands, if they had a philosophy of life. Everybody raised their hands. Then he asked them if they could write it down in 25 words or less. Only two hands went up. Surprised? I wasn’t, and neither was Pete.

You see, while each of us probably does have a core philosophy to live by, very few of us could describe it to another person. We don’t take the time to write it down. Words, whether on paper or in an electronic file, put substance to our beliefs. The words provide a touchstone that we can go back to, when life presents us with difficulties.

Our behaviour, every day, is a reflection of our beliefs. It is the way human beings are built. No matter what we might say, it is our actions that reflect our core beliefs, our philosophy of living. Everything that we do flows from this philosophy. If it doesn’t, that is where stress and anxiety can be found.

Now you may ask, “Lou, if I write down my philosophy, what happens if things change, if I change? Do I doggedly follow my ‘philosophy’?” That’s the beauty of writing things down – the words can be crossed out, erased, and re-written! We are all going to change over time, as we learn the lessons that living teaches us.

So, I will ask this again: Do you have a philosophy of life? Can you describe it in 25 words or less? This weekend, I challenge you to find some quiet time for yourself, and to create your own philosophy – and write it down.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I found this particularly interesting, and, as with so many of the emails from the Winners Circle, very thought provoking. I don’t have a philosophy of life that could be expressed in 25 words or less — it would take far more. And I wonder if it would have helped me in the last week or so if I had, and think it may well have done. I’ve been feeling quite sorry for myself, to put it mildly, since my recent hospital stay. Not sure what I was expecting, some sort of miracle I think, but I didn’t get it. The therapy I’ve started on is going to take some time to adjust to before I really start to feel the benefits, and the tests I underwent didn’t really show anything. So I’m in much the same place as I was before I went in, and I’d built my hopes up too much that I wouldn’t be — so I’ve been feeling sorry for myself.

If I’d had a more tightly defined philosophy of life, one that could be expressed in 25 words or less, and if I really lived that philosophy, perhaps I could have skipped this horrible low spell. Perhaps it’s even time to go right back to a much more basic, and biblical, philosophy to live life by; one that contains just three words. Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord, and everything else can flow from that one simple statement. If I could really live that, then I wouldn’t need to feel sorry for myself — because Jesus is Lord of the bad things as well as the good things; and maybe the bad things aren’t really bad at all.

I have a lot of thinking and praying to do about the way my thoughts have gone as I’ve written this post. Thanks Lou, for another great thought provoking post from the Winners Circle. Do consider signing up to receive the daily emails yourself — they’re well worth reading.