Loosen Up

Loosen Up

Here is another post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. In this one Lou looks at one of the more common reasons behind why we might get irritable with other people, and suggests that if we could loosen up a bit, we, and those around us, would all feel better for it.

How often do you find yourself feeling irritated by things that other people do? If it is more often than you’d like, read on.

People who are easily irritated usually blame others for it. But to find the reason – and notice I’m not talking about blame – they need to look inside themselves, instead of those around them. Of course, irritability can have many causes, but one of the most common is having too many restrictive zones. In other words, too many rigid ideas and rules about right and wrong behaviour.

These folks believe there is a right way to squeeze the toothpaste tube, a right way to load the dishwasher, a right way to do just about everything, and they have all the so-called “facts” to back them up. Now, the problem is not so much that they feel compelled to follow these restrictive and unnecessary rules themselves, but they have the same compulsion about other people following the “rules” too!

Sometimes others go along with them, just to keep the peace, but often they will deliberately or unconsciously break these needless rules, just to drive the compulsive folks crazy. It’s important to become aware of the self-imposed rules we live by and get rid of those that keep us rigidly confined for no important reason. It is also important that we don’t impose our personal standards on others.

Why spend your days stressed out and irritated, wondering why your relationships don’t work? Relax! Loosen up a little! I guarantee everyone will feel better for it.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

When I started to read this, when it first arrived in my inbox, my first thought was that it doesn’t really apply to me — I’m a pretty relaxed chap, and don’t generally get irritated by what others do. But, then I read the line, “These folks believe there is a right way to squeeze the toothpaste tube”, and knew Lou had got me again — am I so predictable?! If someone squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle in our house, I don’t say anything about it, but mumble and grumble to myself as I put it “right”, and squeeze it all up from the bottom. I’m sure people know, despite my not saying, and do it on purpose — and equally sure that after reading this, certain people (you know who you are Bec and Sam) will do it all the more. Or worse even than squeezing it from the middle; they’ll squeeze it right at the top.

It’s a trivial example I know, and if they do do it wrong, I still won’t say anything. But as I’ve thought about this, I’ve come to realize it is an example and not an isolated thing. There are other self-imposed rules that I live by. Some of which could do with relaxing a bit, rather than expecting everyone else to live by them too, especially as they don’t actually know what they are — they haven’t been told!

Once again, I’ve found Lou Tice’s emails thought-provoking and helpful. If you think you might too, do please consider subscribing to the Winners Circle yourself.