Secrets

Secrets

In this post from the Winners Circle, Lou Tice asks us to think about the bits of ourselves that we keep hidden from the rest of the world; and what it might cost us to keep that hidden side secret.

Who am I? This age-old question is one of the most important you will ever ask or answer. Today, though, I want to ask you a question that is similar, but also very different. “What parts of yourself do you keep secret from others?”

What do you do when you are alone that you would hate to have anyone find out about? Do you read trashy novels, talk to your plants, or consume ice cream by the quart? Do you indulge in self-destructive activities like illegal drugs or excessive alcohol use? Do you use language you’d be embarrassed to have overheard, or let the dishes pile up in the sink for days?

If you do things you’d never want anyone to find out about, let me ask you another question: What do you do about that part of yourself that hates both the behaviour and the deceit? Do you have to ignore part of yourself in order to keep your secret? What does it cost you to do that?

Some secrets are just a harmless way to have privacy. Others are terribly destructive. They undermine relationships and cause us to lose self-respect. It is impossible to be a whole and happy person as long as we believe there are parts of ourselves that are so unacceptable we have to keep them hidden.

So, let me ask you a few more questions. What does it cost you to keep your secrets? Do they stop you from being the person you’d most like to be? How might you benefit from being more open or eliminating certain behaviours altogether? Give it some thought.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

It’s clear that Lou Tice is looking at this from a secular angle, because the first thing I want to do after reading this is add God into it; and specifically the thought that God knows even our innermost thoughts, and secrets. But bringing God into this particular equation, doesn’t make it any easier to answer the questions Lou asks. I think many of us still have our secrets, those parts of our lives we’re not always completely comfortable with; we just forget that God knows even those bits.

It’s good to bring to mind, though, the fact that God does know everything there is to know about us, even the less savoury bits. And when we bring that thought to mind, we need to also remember that God still loves us as much as it is possible love us, despite the bits we don’t want to think about. Those aspects of ourselves won’t diminish the love God has for us in the slightest. And, if we ask him, God will help us to work through the bits we find unacceptable until we can eliminate them — until we can answer the question, “What parts of yourself do you keep secret from others?”, with “None!”

I find Lou Tice’s thought provoking emails are very helpful. If you think you would too, do, please, consider subscribing to the Winners Circle.