kneel in wonder at heaven touching earth

A monk had a very knowing donkey, who would stop and start at very simple commands. After much heart searching, the momk eventually parted with it to a fellow friar.

The seller gave the buyer explicit instructions, saying, “When you want the animal to stop, say ‘Amen’, and he’ll stop. And when you want him to go, say, very clearly, ‘Praise the Lord’.”

The donkey changed hands, and the friar went merrily on his way, finding that the donkey responded perfectly to his instructions. As they travelled along the cliff-top pass, the friar momentarily forgot the stopping word until they reached the very edge of the cliff, then, remembering, shouted “Amen” and the animal stopped dead.

The friar leaned over the animal’s head and saw the rugged rocks hundreds of feet below, and with relief, he sighed “Praise the Lord!”

A pious Christian bought a parrot. When he brought it home the good man was horrified to hear the parrot say, “Hiya boys — my name’s Mimi . . . I’m a bad girl. Come upstairs and have some fun!” At this moment the parish priest arrived, and to the parishioners horror, the bird repeated the same words, “Hiya boys — my name’s Mimi . . . I’m a bad girl. Come upstairs and have some fun!”

Noting the man’s dismay, the Priest said, “Don’t worry, bring the bird round to the vicarage. I have two good Christian birds there who do nothing but recite the Rosary together. They will surely bring your sinful parrot back to God.”

The parrot was duly brought to the Priest’s house and there, sure enough, were two parrots in a cage reciting the Rosary. The wicked parrot was set down beside them, and to begin with the other birds took no notice. Then the new arrival cocked its head on one side, and said, “Hiya boys — my name’s Mimi . . . I’m a bad girl. Come upstairs and have some fun!”

“Throw your beads away George,” said one of the vicarage birds to the other. “Our prayers are answered.”