Are you afraid of failure? In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle he talks about how a fear of failing can really hold us back in life; and suggests that there are other ways of looking at things, which are more helpful.

It’s Only Failure If You Think It Is

Today, I’m going to try to convince you that regardless of circumstances, there is no such thing as failure. You see, most people have been programmed to be afraid of failure. But I believe that failure, more than anything else, is an attitude.

All of us can remember times when we didn’t get the results we wanted. We flunked a test, or put together a business plan that didn’t work, or got involved in a romance that turned sour.

But successful people don’t think in terms of failure. They think in terms of results they can learn from. If they try something and it doesn’t work out, they figure they’ve had a learning experience, and they take new actions to get new results.

Think about it. What is the one asset, the one benefit you have today that you didn’t have in the past? Experience, right? And experience is what you make of it.

Maybe you are afraid of failure, but how do you feel about learning? Fear of failure can stop you before you start. It can stop you from taking the risks you need to take in order to grow. If you redefine failure as learning, as important feedback, there is no longer anything to fear.

As a familiar example, Edison tried thousands of different materials before he found the right filament for the electric light bulb. When asked why he didn’t quit, he said, “Why should I? I now know 2,000 things that don’t work!” If you look at your experiences the way Edison did, you are much more likely to achieve success.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I think I have a lot to learn from this post. I am better than I used to be, and trying to fully engage with these posts from Lou Tice has been a great help in my improvement. I don’t fear failing nowadays as much as I used to. But, while I am more accepting of the fact that I won’t always get everything absolutely right, or do as much I set out to do, and don’t beat myself up as much when these things happen, I don’t think I really use those times as a learning experience. So that is, next on my list for personal development — learning from the times when things don’t go quite to plan.

Another great post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. His posts are always a great help, and encourage me to think differently about things: If you think you might be helped by reading many more of them, do please consider subscribing for the daily emails yourself.

This is the first in a series of posts about ‘Love’ from the Daily Meditations of Fr. Richard Rohr. In this one, he talks about the difficult commandment Jesus gave us, to love our enemies, and asks what we can learn from them.

What can our enemies teach us?

In the spiritual life, your enemies are your best friends. That’s why Jesus makes his most daring commandment that you must love your enemies (Luke 6:27). Until you allow the enemy at the gate to come in, allowing the “not-me” to enter your world, you’ll never be able to face your sin, your dark side, nor will you love others at any deep level.

People who turn you off, people you’re afraid of, have a message for you. We reject and hate our own faults in others, for some strange reason. I’m not saying you have to go out and become best friends with people who threaten you, but you should put up your antennae: they’re triggering something within you–about you. You need them.

From Radical Grace: Daily Meditations, p. 182, day 194

Mantra:
Be in love

I really like what Fr. Richard has to say in this. I can certainly recall times when I’ve found myself taking an instinctive dislike to someone, and realized, when I’ve really thought about it, that what I’ve disliked in them, is a character trait of my own that I dislike too. But I haven’t thought of taking that realization further, as Fr. Richard is encouraging us to do, and try to learn more about myself from them.

The email this came from was one of Fr. Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations. If you would like to subscribe too, and I can recommend them, the website is here: The Center for Action and Contemplation. It won’t cost you anything.

In this post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle, he talks about how we can learn from situations we find ourselves in, even pretty dire ones such as a depression. And if we can learn from something as bleak as a depression, maybe we really can learn from everything.

Everything in life can be used to learn and grow from, even so-called negative things like depression. Now, no one seeks out painful experiences just because they want to be a better person, but the fact is that even difficult times have a bright side that can be used to our future benefit.

Depression is one example. I will bet that each of you knows of someone who has been through some form of depression. As Dr. David Viscott points out in his book, “Emotionally Free,” depression can be a clear sign that you can’t afford to ignore the yearnings of your heart any longer. You wouldn’t be depressed unless something is going on that is very important to you – usually a loss of some kind – so even though you may not like it, you have a special opportunity telling you to pay attention and make some changes.

If you’re feeling depressed, ask yourself, “What did I lose, and how was it important?” Then ask, “What could I have done to change things?” Don’t waste time blaming yourself – just see how you may have neglected to take responsibility for your actions or feelings.

Look at how you may have allowed your feelings to build up over time. If you sold out to something that doesn’t make you happy, you need to look more closely at that and begin to imagine exactly what your life would look like if you felt really fulfilled.

You see, if you can look at your depression as a time of mental housecleaning, and if you can remember the strengths that have pulled you through tough times in the past, you may emerge better equipped to create a good life for yourself and to value it more.

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I think Lou is right in this, and we can learn from any situation, however negative it might be — even a severe depression. I have, in my life, suffered from just such a severe depressive illness. It isn’t something I want to experience again. And I certainly wouldn’t want to suggest that anyone seek out such an experience for what they may learn from it. But, having said that, I do think I’m a different person for having been through it, and possibly even a better person. I think I’m better-equipped for life now than I was in my care-free youthful days. And, maybe even more importantly, I think I’m better-equipped to help others too.

In the same way that we can learn from negative experiences, I think God can, and does, use negative and even bad events that happen to further his kingdom here on earth. And just as we shouldn’t be seeking out the bad things, I don’t think God makes the bad things happen. But he does use them to teach us, and to help us to grow into the people he wants us to be — if we’ll let him.

These posts from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle usually manage to set a beneficial train of thought going for me. If you think more of them might help you too, do please consider subscribing yourself, it doesn’t cost anything.

Self-Confidence

This is another post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle. In this one, Lou talks about self-confidence, why it’s important, and, best of all, gives an interesting idea about how you can build your own self-confidence.

Do you ever wish you had more self-confidence? Self-confidence is one of the most important feelings any adult or child can experience. In fact, confidence in our abilities and ourselves often account for the difference between people who succeed and those who do not. But how do you become self-confident?

Well, there are a number of things you can do to build your feelings of confidence. One of the most important, I believe, is the deliberate acquisition and strengthening of meaningful skills. Stewart Brand, founder and publisher of “The Whole Earth Catalog,” said that, “The formula for an interesting life is skills – acquire them and use them. The more skills, the more interesting you become. Skills automatically give us pride and confidence.” Skills also help us to feel competent and powerful, especially when we can use them to accomplish personally meaningful goals.

In addition to learning new skills, it is also important to leverage the ones you already have. By this I mean learning how to get more mileage out of things you already know how to do. People who are peak performers are always looking for new information in their field so they can maintain their competitive edge.

They know that no matter who you are, it is important that you never stop growing. And when you are busy learning new things and improving on what you already know, you just naturally feel more confident.

What will you do today, tomorrow and in the future to continue growing and building your self-confidence?

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute

I’m not a very self-confident person. And even that is probably something of an understatement. But I feel there is something in this post from Lou Tice for me to pick-up and learn from. I haven’t always been this lacking in self-confidence, and when I think back to times when I had more, I realize that they are all times when I was learning something new, or building on what I already knew. And that’s something I haven’t been doing anywhere near so much recently. Perhaps it’s time to put that right, to learn something, to achieve something. Now I just need to make my mind up as to what!

This is another post from Lou Tice at the Winners Circle that has got me thinking in a good way, hopefully something I can benefit from. I find the daily emails to be a great help; if you think you might too, do please consider subscribing yourself — it doesn’t cost anything.